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Mothers |
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
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© John Ewing Roberts |
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INTRODUCTION The problem for preachers on Mother's Day was mentioned with great sensitivity in Terri Forand's prayer earlier in the service. My mother raised many of the same issues when she taught me that Mother's Day is a difficult day for many people - persons whose mothers are seriously ill or dead; persons whose relationship with their own mothers or own children are strained; persons who wanted to be mothers but were unable to do so; persons who have lost a child through miscarriage or death. But my mother turned the full force of her considerable sense of humor on maudlin, sentimental, mawkish, manipulative Mother's Day services - bad poetry, death bed stories, hokey gifts for mothers, and gospel songs like In a Lonely Graveyard with the refrain, "Listen to her pleading, `Wandr'ring boy, come home,' lovingly entreating, do not longer roam; Let your manhood waken, heavn'nward lift your eyes; If you love your mother, meet her in the skies." The opportunity for preachers on Mother's Day comes in expressing appreciation for mothers, especially our own, in lifting up great Bible texts on the family, and in drawing inspiration from Christlike qualities which our mothers at their best embody and model for us. It is into those areas I want to go this morning. I cannot pay tribute to my own mother without mentioning her sense of humor. I thank God for it. It was one way of coping with the great losses and disappointments of her life - the terrible financial burdens of the depression, the premature death of her beloved father, the hardships of World War II, the long separations from my father, who was a travelling salesmen, and the death of her own mother on her birthday. I hope she would have appreciated the spirit of what I want to share with you now, some pictures of mothers. PICTURES 1. Arrangement in Black and Gray: The Artist's Mother, better known as "Whistler's Mother," James McNeill Whistler, (1871, The Louvre, Paris) It's hard to honor mothers in pictures. After all, the most famous painting of a mother, "Whistler's Mother" is a study in formal qualities of black and gray. Few mothers can identify with this painting, even more after Mr. Bean got his hands on it. My own mother said that the woman in the painting could not possibly have been Whistler's mother - "no mother ever got to sit down that long in her life!" So, mothers, if you do not want to be compared to Whistler's, does this next painting help? 2. The Small Cowper Madonna, Raphael, (c. 1505, National Gallery of Art, Washington) Well, Mary is arguably the most famous mother of all time, but talk about pressure! I suspect that every mother here respects and appreciates the Virgin Mary, but few, if any, would want to be compared with her. After all, the passivity of Whistler's Mother and the serenity of the Virgin Mary are hard to maintain when... 3. Picture of hectic mother in kitchen at breakfast ...you have to do four things at once: (from right to left) feed the baby, dry the dishes, do the laundry (will your husband at least fold the stuff for you?), and try to get your husband to stop reading the Sun and listen to you. And when does this woman have time to feed herself? 4. Mother-in-law, daughter, grandchild and dog at crayon smeared sofa Later in the day her mother-in-law drops by and expects to find a perfectly dressed boy (he does have a suit on), a perfectly kept house (like hers), and a daughter-in-law with all the time in the world for nice chat with her mother-in-law. What's a mother to do? 5. Couple at elegant dinner As soon as her mother-in-law leaves, as soon as she cleans up after the dog and the little boy, she barely has time to set the table, prepare a gourmet meal, do her hair, and give her husband the kind of glamorous wife and gastronomic delight he thinks he deserves. (I told you, fellows, that I'd look out for you, even though it's Mother's Day!) 6. Four women from John Waters' Hairspray (1988) A mother can't be glamorous all the time - she has to spend some time down at the beauty parlor, getting along with the "girls (sic)." "Gimme dat can of hairspray, Hon!" 7. Shirley MacLaine and Deborah Winger, Terms of Endearment (1983) The years pass and a mother's daughter grows up; she has to learn to relate to an adult child both as a mother and as a friend. Terms of endearment may not come easy. 8. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton fighting. There is so much pressure on a mother - perfectionism, kids, meals, the house, the yard, the clothes, the in-laws, her own parents, the school, the church, the sports, the art classes, the car pool. All these pressures build up, take their toll, and sometimes boil over into conflict between a mother and her husband. 9. Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda, On Golden Pond (1981) A mother has to age gracefully, caring sometimes maternally for her aging spouse. Even when he's grumpy, loony, and an old coot, she can make him feel like her knight in shining armor on Golden Pond. 10. Lady Elizabeth Foster, Sir Joshua Reynolds (1787, Chatsworth) When people from all over the world came to Washington a few years ago to see the blockbuster exhibition, The Treasure Houses of Great Britain, they marvelled at masterpieces from the stately homes of Great Britain. Three paintings of women, all mothers, stopped the crowds in their tracks. One was this painting of the great 18th century beauty, Lady Elizabeth Foster, mistress of Chatsworth. 11. The Duchess of Devonshire, Pietro Annigoni (1954, Chatsworth) Another show stopping painting of a beautiful mother is this portrait of the current mistress of Chatsworth, Deborah Freeman-Mitford, the current Duchess of Devonshire, with whom I once had a very brief "conversation" (ask me about it!). 12. An Old Woman Reading, Rembrandt (1655, Drumlanrig Castle) But the painting that drew the largest crowds was not a portrait of great beauties of the past or present. As always we can learn much by studying the light on this old woman intently reading a book which scholars suppose to be religious, perhaps a portion of scripture. Look how the light shines down from above onto the book and then comes up, reflected onto her clothing and face. Were she to speak, I am confident she would tell us that the Lord above who addressed her from the inspired, sacred text is the source of light in her life. When we compare her to the Chatsworth beauties, we remember the magnificent tribute to the virtuous woman in the last chapter of Proverbs: "Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the Lord deserves to be praised. Show her respect - praise her in public for what she has done."[1] 13. Red roses And so we do show respect in this service for mothers who honor the Lord and for all they have done for us. DEUTERONOMY 6: 4-8 We do not know what Rembrandt's wonderful old woman was reading, but the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 surely would have read and committed to memory the central truth of the Hebrew scriptures, Deuteronomy 6: 4-8....The Lord is our God, the Lord alone, indivisible, unique. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart (and this means in Hebrew psychology, with all your intellect), with all your soul (meaning with all your affective capacity or with all your life), and with all your might (that is, with all your physical strength, including by extension, with all your material possessions).[2] The Lord calls on us to teach diligently, impress deeply these teachings upon our children. For a Jew this meant wearing the teachings in two sets of tefillin, small boxes to which leather straps are attached to affix the boxes to head and hand during morning worship. Inscribing these teachings on the doorposts is the source of the Jewish tradition of putting a mezuzah on the doors of one's dwelling, the small container and its parchment with these words from Deuteronomy 6: 4-9 and 11: 13-21.[3] (A rabbi told me that a Gentile once bought a house from a Jew and did not know what to make of the mezuzah. He got a tiny screwdriver, removed it from the door post, opened it up, and unrolled the scroll. Instead of finding a Hebrew text, he found a note which read, "Help, I'm a prisoner in a mezuzah factory!" (It was funnier when the rabbi told it!) TEACHING It is not enough to believe in God; one must teach one's children about God. We once knew a couple who decided to give their son no religious instruction. "When's he's old enough to decide about religion, he can make up his own mind." The family moved from Baltimore when Douglas was a pre-schooler. I have often wondered what became of him. When he was 16, did his parents say, "We are not going to give him driver's ed; when he's ready to decide what rules of the road he wants to follow, he can make up his own mind." If you love God and love your child, you will give him or her the best religious education possible at home and at church. I say this not to lay a guilt trip on anyone for not doing his or her duty (although duty and guilt may well be involved), but because I want every parent to have the joy in the Lord of loving a child enough to provide the very best Christian nurture possible. Mind you, we are not perfect; there is much that we want to do better; but if you care enough for your children to want the best for her or him, you are in the right place. There has always been an emphasis on children in the church. Our most famous member in times past, Miss Annie Armstrong, worked in the Infant Department. On the first Sunday here as assistant pastor in 1959, the entire worship service was devoted to Children's Sunday. I thank God for the excellent Christian education Woodbrook offers today. Greg Cochran, Linda Fowler, Sue Ritz and a host of teachers and care-givers have built on a solid foundation to develop a setting for Christian nurture of children that has received national and local recognition. Last year an educator-administrator from Baltimore County Public School took a leave of absence from the church her husband pastors just to observe what goes on here. "I had been told that no one does it better than you all; I wanted to see for myself." Parents need all the help they can get from a good church as they deal with television, computers, the internet, school, after school programs and quality time in the car. They want their kids to know that songs about Jesus are more important than songs about Barney. Let your church help you as you "teach them diligently." And pray with your kids; stop complaining about the complex issue of prayer in schools; pray in your homes, pray in church. And teach your kids that church is important; be here and be here on time. A child quickly learns what his parents really care about. If you're late for the Little League game, you don't start; if you're late for the concert, you wait outside till intermission. When I was a child and Saturday rolled around, my mother saw to it that I read my Sunday School lesson, polished my shoes, laid out my Sunday clothes, and went to bed early. When I was grown, I asked her why she went to such trouble. She explained that she loved God too much and had too much self respect to be represented in God's house on Sunday by a tired, sleepy, tardy, stupid kid. My mother felt no pressure to be June Cleaver, Donna Reed, Mary Tyler Moore or Harriet Nelson. But she did feel the force of God's command to teach the Bible, its meaning and values, "by the wayside" and at home. She taught me to pray, and she taught me how to handle myself in the worship service. I was expected to pay attention; if I didn't understand, I was to ask questions after church. If I didn't know a word the preacher use, she said that that was good because it gave me a chance to learn a new word. There wasn't a lazy or anti-intellectual bone in her body. If I said I was bored, she corrected me as my grandmother had corrected her: "You are not bored; you are boring! Get interested; get interesting!" And I learned to engage my mind on the things of the Lord even when the preacher was having an off day. My hat is off to the mothers of this church. I considered making the entire sermon a tribute to the mother I live with, 20 minutes about Marylynn. When I told her this was a possibility, I was expecting her to say, "Just two minutes?" but you know she would do no such thing. I recall the story of a minister who was asked to share something tender and appropriate about his wife to disclose how much he cared for her, how much he knew about her. "What is your wife's favorite flower?" the pastor was asked. "That's easy," he answered, "Pillsbury!" Out of respect for Marylynn, I will concentrate in praising not just her but all the mothers of this church. Many of you prepare those wonderful, beautiful children whose faces I get to see from the best seat in the house during Greg Cochran's talk to the boys and girls. You teach Sunday School, work in extended session even when your own kids are grown; you sing and work with the choirs; you head up our programs; you serve as Deacons and Trustees; you give up some Fridays for ESOL; you work on committees and boards. I particularly want to express gratitude for the mothers in the WEE Bible Study I attend on Friday; you are my friends and my teachers. CONCLUSION What is a good mother? We have gotten some powerful answers from Proverbs 31 and Deuteronomy 6. Let me end by saying that a good mother is Christlike. The qualities of our Lord that we sing about in our last hymn, Lord of All Hopefulness, will cause us to picture Christ and our mothers at their best: - hopefulness and joy - trust ever childlike that no cares could destroy I came forward to make my initial public commitment to be a Christian and to request baptism and church membership on Mother's Day in 1945. The invitation hymn was hardly one of those heart tugging, emotional gospel songs - it was, of all things, "My Country, 'tis of Thee!" We are going to sing a much better invitation hymn now, a hymn about our Lord and those qualities of his which our mothers at their best embody. I invite you to become a Christian today. Woodbrook Baptist Church (Formerly Eutaw Place Baptist Church) Baltimore, Maryland [This sermon is for circulation within the Woodbrook congregation and may not be reproduced without permission.] Notes: [1] Proverbs 31: 30-31 (CEV) [2] The Torah - A Modern Commentary, edited by W. Gunther Plaut [New York: Union of American Hebrew Congregations] 1981, p. 1366 [3] Op. cit., p. 1367 [4] "Lord of All Hopefulness" Jan Struther, A New Hymnal for Colleges and Schools, edited by Jeffrey Rowthorn and Russell Schulz-Widmar [New Haven: Yale University Press] 1992, No. 485 |